Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Dinners in My Household

This last Thursday I had a busy day with work in the morning, my middle girls team practice, and then River Valley Toastmaters meeting in the evening. All of this meant no naps and somewhere between gymnastics, the meeting and bed I got macaroni and cheese, and then later meatloaf my husband loves so much. You see we have a rule in our house: My husband usually does all the cooking. I learned early he did not my cooking and will rarely eat anything that does not not  come in the package of  ground beef, steak, or anything from cow. Personally, I am a chicken, pasta with creamy sauce kind of gal. I also like the taste of meat that has a sweet taste, like pork.

The fact that I do not cook dinner all started soon after my then fiancĂ©  now husband of 17 years, moved in together 18 years ago this August. I had really never cooked much before because my family mostly went out to eat after my parent's had a long day at work and really did not want to cook so out to dinner, somewhere like Coco's, Polly's Pies, Chinese Food, or something similar but  nothing fancy. I thus only knew how to cook macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, pork chops (Shake 'N Bake), and tacos. I also learned how to do Polska Kilbasa with fettuccine Alfredo  (from a box). I did not even know really how to make spaghetti sauce (and the fact is I never liked the stuff in the first place didn't help). Therefore every night my fiancĂ© would come home after I would go to bed so he could eat whatever little he could tolerate of my inability to cook and throw away the rest (I'm convinced) without me feeling to bad. Yes, I knew his tricks and even now I also know when he is subjected to my cooking or something new (or sweet) for dinner the faces he makes sometimes make me cringe. Therefore, my husband pretty quickly in our relationship together got the chore of cooking dinner his way with the caveat that I will tolerate most anything (but his tomato based ground beef spaghetti sauce). Heck, eating to me is something I see as a necessity to stay alive and healthy not something to enjoy so he got the task. You will never see me binge eating or eating when I am depressed that is for sure  

If and when I get to cook it usually means it involves my kids and I eating something like macaroni and cheese (the easy way out -- from the Kraft box) with broccoli (for my son and myself). The result of this is that we call it T.V. dinner night because that is exactly what my husband gets to eat because, yes, you guessed it, he won't touch the pasta with cheesy cream sauce with a ten foot poll.  I love to cook with my kids but know that we must usually make sure that my husband(their dad) is busy with work or has something else available to eat so we can enjoy our food without the unusual smacking of lips at the dinner table by their dad. This means yes bacon and any other pork product is right out if we want to have a dinner where at least he does not complain, in his own special way.

Don't get me wrong I love my husband but I will kindly give up cooking just to have peace between the two of us and make him enjoy eating. The fact now is that the kids often times complain that we never have anything new although that  usually comes from the fact that my husband does not have time to learn new recipes because he has a full-time job as a professor who will actually put in more than 60 hours a week to bring in the money so that we can have the lifestyle we enjoy.  The thing we try and remind our kids often is that they will get a chance once they are out of our house and have a place of their own that they will be able to have whatever they want and switch up their menus as often as they like and have the time to do just that.

To tie this to the blog itself I shall end by saying that our household is like any other no difference just because I have cerebral palsy. Dinners are still a big deal and sometimes become contentious just because of what  we decide to cook in the evening.  

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Listening and Obeying the Body

As someone with cerebral palsy I will say that the best thing I have learned is to listen, obey, and doing what my body asks me to do. The fact that cerebral means brain and palsy means paralysis the thing I must do is to remember that the brain tells the rest of the body what it will put up with and when to take a break and sometimes lay down or take a nap. If I do not it may mean that my brain synapses may cause tremors or seizures. Therefore you will never find me up all night unless I take a really long nap during the day or I am sick. I take my naps seriously which sometimes causes my husband to become frustrated because he believes everyone should be able to power through their day just as he does many a days.

The fact is I have dual diagnoses cerebral palsy(of course), seizure disorder, and depression meaning that the combination makes it harder to go about life like a person with only a single diagnosis like depression would never understand. The fact that all three of them affect the brain alone is not good as well.

Life is life and everyone is different so please remember to not judge a person by what they look like on the outside. The fact is that there is more going on behind the scene just as the beauty of a person is not always on the surface. Get to know a person before you assume that they are healthy both inside and out before you make an assumption.  

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Most Important Thing

To keep limber and to keep the abilities you (or your child) have is to always continue to exercise and or stretch out your limbs to keep them  as usable as they can be for your entire life. The more you stay active the longer you will be able to live on your own.

I know I talk incessantly about exercise but I will say it is about as important as putting a healthy foods inside your body.  I try my hardest to stay away from the sodas, fast foods, and many candies for a reason. I also live in a state that has a portion of our populatuon has a big type  II diabetes in the nation because we have allowed our children and ourselves to live off of sodas, high fructose juices and more snacks that are unnecessary when apples, melons, grapes, and more fruits (as well as easily snack-able vegetables) readily available that have none of the added ingredients that ruin our health therefore cause disease and many times early preventable death

I will close now by saying whether you have cerebral palsy or not, please remember it is up to you to take care of yourself and your family. The easiest way to honor your family  by taking a few minutes to exercise and prepare the proper  dinner instead of bring home the bag of burgers or having pizza delivered. Remember to that the vest conversations happen at the dinner table. A

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Relaxing Day on the Agenda

Talk of Seizure Disorder


I am happy to not have to mow any part of my lawn this morning and can spend the weekend relaxing, as much as my middle daughter will let me. I also am not scheduled to work until Thursday which is good and bad all at once. I say this because I not only have have work but also my middle daughter's gymnastics and Toastmasters meeting that evening. I like to stay busy although this busy seems to mean the second I get home from the meeting I must go to bed because of my extreme fear of flaring up my seizure disorder.

Before you get on to me saying that I have epilepsy, not a seizure disorder, I shall disagree with any medical label after being told epilepsy was defined as seizures that could not be controlled by medication. My seizures are fully controlled by medication and rest thus it is not epilepsy in my eyes. When I was under the age of 18 I had Grand Mal seizures that means I not only had tremors but also would throw up. I would often wake up while having a seizure and there were a few times that I would have to go into the emergency room to get extra medication intravenously pumped into me but most of the time they would end on their own within thirty seconds to a minute. The result was that my mom would make an appointment the next day with my pediatric neurologist and my  anti-seizure medication (Dilantin then) would be upped and I would be stable again at least until I grew or gained weight again. My blood levels were constantly monitored through blood tests I protested through until my step-dad offered me a pair of shoe roller skates if I did not cry. Well I did not cry and I got those brand new shoe skates the next day. After that day I took the tests like a pro and even realized that if I stare at the needle going into my arm (always my left because of the lack of full feeling on my right side) I relaxed much easier because I knew when it was going into my skin and vein.

My seizures now are classified as Jacksonian Marsh and basically mean that the tremors on my right side have remained, I am fully aware when a seizure is coming on and sometimes can sit down before the seizure occurs and if I don't I feel gravity pulling me down. In these seizures I am fully conscious and really would love to tell anyone who maybe trying to rescue me that I will be ok just give it a few seconds. The medications I have been on since I was eighteen have been Tegretol and Trileptol (other wise known as Carbamazepine or Oxycarbamazepine respectively) the only difference is the latter is the slow releasing form of Tegretol.

Once when I was about eighteen I had a seizure as I was getting ready for the day, a day I was supposed to go off to camp, which my mom immediately nixed because she got scared. The reason my mom got scared is because I had just gotten out of the shower and was brushing my hair and putting on my make-up when gravity brought me down between the bathtub and toilet (about three to six inches between the two) which is where my mom found me right side tremoring (if that is a word) and all. She initially was not scared and I could hear everything she said and I really would like to have re-assured her but I could not because the actual seizure would not allow me to communicate with her verbally. The seizure continued so long that she did end up calling 9-1-1 and all the forces came out to help (police, firefighters, and EMS) all arrived. Thankfully by then I had come out of the seizure and since I was not dressed my mom placed my towel over my body. I was lucky and was not forced to go to the hospital because once the seizure stopped my mom knew that all that need to happen was I would go to my neurologists that next week.

The only other time I can remember having a seizure like the one above was on April 15th, 1998 after a graduate school seminar that lasted a full day and a half with a homework assignment that needed to be done the night between the two days. It was the Sunday as I was in my bathroom getting ready to go out to breakfast with my husband and 2-year-old son when I felt that gravity pulling me down, this time I think I managed to sit down two seconds or so before the tremors started and rode it out like a trooper that I feel I am. After the seizure ended I finished getting ready and then stepped out of the bathroom and asked my husband if he heard me banging against the door or wall and he said 'No.' He just thought I had dropped something -- well in fact I guess I did if you count myself quickly dropping to the floor so I would not get hurt. The seizure is the last one that I had since then and now take seriously the fact that I need to get my proper sleep at night and most days a nap.

The way I stay seizure free is easy -- I make sure to take my medication as prescribed (Oxycarbamazepine) twice daily and rest when I am tired. I know that my family has a hard time with this at times because I would love to be like those regular always active moms that can go from sunrise to way beyond sunset but I cannot. My seizure disorder and cerebral palsy do not allow me to be that person. I have also had top deal with doctors here and there tell me that I could possible go off that one medication but I will always stop them their because I tried that once and it did not work then thus I shall never try again and have specifically told my family to never let a doctor talk them into taking me off the medication.

The only main drawback to the medication is the fact that extended sun-exposure does cause me to get sick from the heat and sun itself. This means that outdoor public pools are usually not an option unless my husband is able to come with my girls and I just in case I were to get sick at least I have someone to drive us home. Thus I am one that will try and find activities to do early in the morning, like walking in the early morning or near the sunset, or indoors, like bowling rather than risk my health and the safety of my kids. I know my girls have a hard time understanding but I am hoping with age that they will understand and come to appreciate the things I have done for and with them.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Staying Busy is Not Hard

The thing that is hard for me is remembering that I must take time to relax and rejuvenating myself so that I am the person I want to portray to others. I do love to stay active despite what my girls believe I would be out and about more often if it were not for my need to get only a minimal amount of sun due to the medications I am on to stay healthy and get them from place to place. My son being older seems to understand which is nice. The thing is my son is 17 so he understands but even so as a younger child he would find friends in the neighborhood that he could spend time with instead of relying on me to entertain him.

My basic goals are to stay healthy enough to get the girls to activities such as gymnastics and sometimes bowling or even walking around the River Park. The things I plan are things that are either indoors or take less than and hour in the sun to complete. I feel bad that I feel I cannot take them to the public pool because of the lack of shade and the fact that I may accidentally spend too much time in the sun and thus become sick and not be able to get them home safely. I know it hurts them when I say no and see them stomp away as if it is their fault and I simply do not love fun.

I love fun I just have limit the amount of fun I do have at once. I enjoy life for the most part and get frustrated  because I am unable do more than I do already. The fact is, yes, without my cerebral palsy I would most definitely be more physically active than I am now.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Morning Life

Simply I am the person in the household that makes sure that everyone gets where they need to go at the right time. In the mornings this summer that means that I get my husband out of the house for his 8 a.m. class he teaches during this first session of summer class at the university where he teaches. Waking him us is a task in and of itself because he is a late-night person and who suffers from insomnia. I on the other hand am a morning person and don't do nights.

After getting up and taking a shower I get the dogs out one at a time in a certain order because if you go out of order chaos ensues for the next twenty minutes sometimes more. The order is oldest to youngest (Henry, Snickers, then Sara). I drag the dogs to their dog run via their leashes and the hilarious thing is if gone in order Henry is still going to the bathroom by the time I get to Sara while Snickers is at the water dish. Life is great I would not change my daily workout with them for anything.

If I still feel the need for exercising after getting the dogs out around 6:30 a.m. I will mow the grass, now that my mower is back in business. If the lawn does not need mowing I will go on a walk at the River Park -- within this last week I really have not had to make that choice because the lawn needs work. Yesterday, I finally finished my backyard so now I will start the front because it has been two weeks or more since it was done.

Around 7 a.m. is finally a chance for me to relax and get my coffee, while it is still quiet, and turn on Good Morning America and catch up with my internet friends on Facebook. If I am lucky I get about three hours before I start getting bugged from one or both of my girls proclaiming that they are bored and want to do something or get on the computer. I usually make them wait until noon before I will even fathom getting up and doing anything or at least giving them the computer.

Oh wow, I am an average stay at home mom -- not really having to define myself as a mom with cerebral palsy. My hope here is to show that many of us are like any other adult that does adult things around the house. My mom didn't raise someone who was just going to be a vegetable and need attendants to carry out my daily tasks.

 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Normal Morning Life

For the most part I lead a normal life. I usually get up at around 6 AM and start my day by taking a shower followed by dragging my dogs from their crates to their dog pen. This task is harder than you may think because of the need to get them out one at a time in a specific order. If I was to let them out in the wrong order the first dog will not stay in the pen or another will not go in the pen in the first place. I have one dog the other two are not too happy with as she is nuisance in that she will do everything to bug the others in every way possible.

My next task on summer mornings is to get my coffee ready to be consumed. We have three coffeemakers in our house because my husband, son, and myself have three different ideas of how strong coffee should be so it makes since, in our house. Once it is prepared and started I get to sit down at my computer I already turned on in passing between getting dogs out and preparing the coffee.

At the computer: I get a chance to check Facebook, the weather, and my email from two separate accounts.   This is somewhat relaxing as I wait for my coffeemaker to give me enough coffee for my first cup of coffee. If the weather is cooperating in the morning I love to do something outdoors bet today we are getting quite a bit of rain so it is even to wet to walk around the river or mow some of my lawn. The rain is nice although it means that outdoor exercise is impossible.

Around 8 AM I am back in my chair at the computer to do some writing. I also will work on speeches if I have an upcoming speech for River Valley Toastmasters. I try and do most of my writing and speech preparation in the morning before my girls wake up as they get mad if I need to concentrate and ask them to be the slightest bit quiet. Forget the days when you could send them outside because these days they will through a major fit that there is 'nothing to do,' 'it is to hot,' or any a number of other excuses they come up with until you throw your hands up and say 'When I was a kid,' a phrase you told yourself that you would never say as a parent when you were a teenager and younger. Funny how all of us end up being a true parent once we get older and have one or more children.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Exercising

Whether it be walking or mowing the lawn or any of a number of things I do try and stay as fit as I am able. No, I really never run anymore or even get on roller skates (although I would love to skate again) I do do almost everything I can knowing that three kids can really ruin a woman's body if you let it. Yes, I still have a little of that baby fat but I carry the little I have around as a badge of honor because it is a reminder of something else I overcame as an adult that doctors were not sure my body would be able to handle.

The thing I would like to encourage others here is that having a disability does not immediately mean that you throw in the towel and sit around and accept that you or the child will be a vegetable that you will have to take care of for the rest of their lives. The fact is if a child is encouraged to be independent as possible there are things possible of achieving that they will be able to take with them the rest of their lives. I will add that taking advantage of many or all of the therapies will help the child or yourself out tremendously. I personally took advantage of physical, occupational, and equine (horse) therapies while I was growing up. I also had a dad that was determined to see me walk knowing that being in a wheelchair was a last resort in his opinion. I am convinced without the therapies I would never have been as independent as I am today so my advice to anyone either dealing with cerebral palsy or and other disability is to take advantage of all you are able to get because every little bit helps when it comes to improving your abilities (or you child's). Yes, sometimes the therapy is hard and the therapists love to stretch muscles to far or make you work a little too hard but in the end it is all worth the reward and accomplishment when you realize that you (or your child) do what you can do because of all the hard work done, previously.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Writing is Much Easier...

...than giving a speech. I am a member of River Valley Toastmasters and Toastmasters International and have been a member since April and started going to meetings around the beginning of the year. I finished my third project in the Competent Communicator Handbook and about two projects in my Competent Leader Handbook. Although I have done them I feel much more comfortable sitting here at my computer writing and blogging because I do not have to worry about my nerves and how to get the words out properly so that my audience can understand me.

As I mentioned in my speech last night about Cerebral Palsy, and maybe a time or two here, there are times when it is easier for someone with my disability to write instead of speak because of the fact that a different portion of our brain is working. The truth is that your brain is a complicated organ which does many functions so when part of it dies or gets hurt due to asphyxiation (lack of oxygen) then another part maybe able to take over and each section does something different than another. Here is an illustration of the brain and its functions I found online:


This was found on: Ms. Vest's Class Psychology

I will try and look for other images that better illustrate the different functions of the brain. In the above image though I am able to at least show that speech and writing are in two different parts of the brain and thus yes there is a possibility that a person's brain may allow for speech and not writing or writing without speech depending on where the injury occurred at or before birth. 

I will say that the reverse could be true for another person with cerebral palsy sitting near me if I were actually sitting in a room with several other person's with the cerebral palsy. I do have friends that are in wheelchairs who do have the same disability who have a harder time speaking than I do and often times must have someone even write and take notes for them due to the spasticity in muscles they cannot control. I have also witnessed these same people only use computers to get their message out but some of them I have to say are smarter than me and often get frustrated when the words just don't come out the way their brain would like those same words to get out.

The same can be true with physical paralysis as well but I will leave that for another day where I will discuss why I can walk and others with the same disability cannot. For today I believe this enough  As you may see cerebral palsy is a very complex developmental disability that is not easily diagnosed and sometimes is not diagnosed up until the age of two after milestones in development are not met by the child in question.
   

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Yesterday!

I got my lawnmower back! I felt like a little girl who got her favorite toy back after it had been taken away because I did something bad. I was so happy and really wanted to go straight outside and mow my lawn: I did wait though because the temperature was above 90 degrees with the heat index above 100.

I mowed only a part of my lawn last night as my Black and Decker rechargeable lawnmower was working so hard that it decided that it needed a break for recharging. What this meant was I got my dog pen mowed and a line or two of the rest of the yard. I actually was enjoying myself and again felt I had been reunited with my long lost toy as it had been 5 weeks since I had seen it.

At the rate my mower is working it will be about 4 or more days before I get my whole yard finished and then it will be time to do the front yard that we paid a teenager to do just last week. I will get the lawn mowed and that is the main thing. I love physical exercise and this is just one way I get my exercise in the summer.

The other physical exercise I love is walking around the Fort Smith River Park and National Park. The walk I take is a 2 mile walk that allows me to keep active and know that I have lost no abilities. What I really love is when my middle daughter walks/jogs with me as at least I have company.

 Now that it is summer I really do need to get back to the early morning walks but first I must finish my lawn as that is my top priority.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Life in General

As a writer my life is rather mundane as I sit at the computer wondering what to write about that will interest you, the reader. I don't leader a very exciting life, if you ask me it is quite boring in that I am usually carpooling my girls to and from school or in the summer I cart them to and from gymnastics and sometimes we go bowling. I also like to spend time with the men in my life, my son and husband. I glad I have a husband that puts up with the fact that I love my job as a stay-at-home mom and really only want to work part-time.

When I am not doing something with my girls or family I am a member of the River Valley Toastmasters Club where I am hoping to better my speaking and leadership skills through speaking and other roles that are a part of every meeting. My hope is to become a motivational speaker as well as one that informs others that a person with a disability is no different than than there own life. This Thursday I will be giving my third speech since I joined regarding Cerebral Palsy and a light overview on what it entails.

Add my writing, speaking, my family, and the fact that I have three cats and three dogs you see my life in a nutshell.  You may be shocked to know that I am the one that is a dog person and two of the dogs are stronger than I am but I am the one that controls them the most. I have always been a dog person thanks to my own upbringing of being around dogs my whole life. I guess that is not to hard to imagine if you remember the fact that as a child I was most often at the stables with the horses either riding or volunteering with The American Riding Club for the Handicapped (ARCH) in Southern California.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Do I Drive a Car?

Yes, I do drive a minivan actually! I would love to go to a smaller vehicle but with two girls and a boy and our annual  road trip to California to visit my family and friends in the area it is almost impossible to fit us all in a hybrid car, with luggage, the size of my husband's Toyota Prius which he is in love with and rarely if ever gets in my van anymore than he has to for hauling things.

Anyway, getting back to my driving: I must have it equipped for me which means that I have an attached pedal and a knob on the steering wheel so that my left side can do all the work many of you use with abilities on your right side take for granted.

Below I have two pictures of the attachments on my minivan. Again, I will say that I am a lucky one because of the fact that I only needed these two attachments that simply pop off if someone else needs to drive my van for any reason. .

The floor board of my minivan with attachment


Steering wheel with knob

Sorry for the mess on the floor board, I guess I should vacuum soon.  If you cannot tell the floorboard pedal attachment allows me to use the accelerator on the right by the simple fact that when I press the left pedal the lever on the right presses the accelerator itself and allows me to use only my left foot. The brake is just in the same spot and used just as you do.

The knob on the wheel aids me in turning in tight spaces and or when I am trying to get into parking lots and such. I will say that unless I am turning right or in a parking lot I hardly use it. Instead I place my left hand at the twelve o'clock position and steer from that spot by placing my palm under or over the top of the wheel itself.

If any of you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask in the comments. I will answer any questions you may have because part of what I would like to do here is answer any and all questions you, the readers may have. The more you know the better you will understand how I get around an able-bodied world.  

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Hardest Thing

The hardest part for me in having cerebral palsy with a seizure disorder is that there are times when I must say no! No, to my kids!

No, to taking them swimming without my husband's help because of the sun that is shining down hard on the public outdoor pool which could cause me to have a heat stroke because of the medication I must take in order not to have a seizure. My older son does understand but my younger two girls have a hard time because they will think that OK so we will only stay an hour. The fact is that never happens we are usually there for about two to three hours because time gets away and or just slips by easily.

I also must say no to them and take a nap instead when I am feeling tired or lethargic. I am afraid of over exerting myself and know that even though my last seizure was in April of 1998 it was all due to the fact that I was at a seminar, for a class that was time consuming, as well as required a paper out of me on the evening after part one of the seminar. I learned then, I must listen to my body and never disobey what it says for too long or else I am at risk of a seizure or even a fall which thus may lead to a medical clinic or emergency room visit that I would rather avoid.

The message here is I hate to say 'No!' but I must first listen to my own body and give it priority over anything else! I believe that there are times that even my husband does not understand although I know he loves me very much he believes if he can do something like work 8-10 hours a day as a professor I could do the same. I tried the working 30-40 hours a week and found that impossible because eventually my brain shuts down and causes either me to have a seizure or a blackout.

It is simple to me but hard for others to understand but imagine making about 75% of your brain doing the work of what 100% of your brain does on a daily basis. Remember the fact that I said earlier in my first post that parts of my left hemisphere of my brain has lack of use due to asphyxiation (lack of oxygen) probably before birth; the result is that I have lack of some fine motor skills on my right side of the body and the over stimulation of that part of the body causing seizures (if I did not take my anti-seizure medication I would not have been seizure free for a little over 15 years now).

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Miss My Lawnmower

I have a Black and Decker rechargeable battery operated push lawnmower that I have only had a little less than a year and I had to take it in a month ago to have it looked at and am still waiting for the repair place to get back to me on what is wrong. Apparently when my husband and I bought it we bought it at Walmart not knowing that it was a refurbished mower (thankfully we got it only for $100) but there was no warranty because of the fact that it was not brand new. Even so we are now waiting for my mower to get looked at to see if I am going to be able to afford to get it repaired so I can start mowing my own lawn again.

I so miss getting my exercise through mowing.This is one thing that I do not let my disability get in my way. I mentioned once that my dad taught me how to walk with a toy shopping cart well I liked the lawnmower which is rather easy to start and push  to that toy cart. Of course with the mower I do not have to tape my hands to the handle or put bricks on it but the concept is the same I push while walking behind it.

I am hoping to get my mower back by the end of next week or the following depending on what is wrong with it and if it will cost less than $200 to fix it  For now I am having a kid mow my lawn for a little bit of money which is frustrating because I really like and depend on physical exercise to keep lean and mean. You have to know that I am a person who will walk around the Arkansas River around the Trail of Tears and court house which is about a two mile walk just for the beauty and exercise alone. I feel bad that I have gotten out of the habit but soon I will have to start again because I notice the difference both physically and mentally when I do not exercise.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

The Weekend!

Believe it or not I do what many Americans do when they are blessed with having a family of any size: I go grocery shopping to make sure we have all the food we need for the week ahead. Are you shocked? Well you should not be because my daily life is like any other woman's in their forties.

I not only have three kids, I also have three dogs and three cats and I am the one that empties the litter boxes  every Sunday. I am also the one that pushes a lawnmower through my front and backyard (when it is working that is!). Taking care of my own kids and animals and doing manual work is something I take great pride in because without the help of those in my childhood these things never would have been possible. There are therapists I wish I could remember their names as well as the doctors and Orthotics (braces) specialists.

The few I do remember are from my therapeutic horseback riding years at American Riding Club  for the Handicapped (ARCH) which was owned by Lorraine "Frosty" Kaiser and Valley View Vaulting's Rick and Virginia Hawthorne. The three of them along with several others taught me how to do things for myself and to not give up or even ask for help before trying first. I learned to use the abilities I do have to be who I am today through horseback riding as well as taking care of the horse(s) before and after my lessons. I got so good that by the end of my days at horseback riding, as a teen, I was volunteering with ARCH and helping the younger children with their own therapy on horse. I only had to give it up when my life became busy with high school and then college. I have not been on a horse in over 25 years but the lessons have stuck with me to this very day, never to be forgotten.

I know that I will talk about the above three people many of times because they were a big part of my childhood and who I am today. I hope you too will understand how important it is to have those certain people in your life whether you have a disability (cerebral palsy or other) or not, to teach you how to better your life and make it meaningful to you!

Friday, June 7, 2013

I Feel Like a Lucky One!

I feel lucky because my disability only effects my right side of my body as my left hemisphere of the brain was the only part of my brain that was damaged before birth in my mom's fall I mentioned yesterday. The results is I am able to use my left hand and write this message as well as dress myself, drive, and do almost any mundane task that ordinary people take for granted: I am even a mother and gave birth to all three of my kids naturally.

There are very few things I can say that my dad did right but I will praise him for my ability to walk and run today. OK, so I hardly run anymore but you get the point. My dad when I was about two years old was working at Mattel Toys and was given a prototype of the shopping carts of today except for the fact that back in the early 70's they were much sturdier and could handle a whole lot more. Well when he brought it home he had the idea to put it to work to help me learn to walk. It did not take him long to think  think of putting red bricks in the cart and then taped my hands to the handle in the front sidewalk and with my mom crying on our porch and him right behind me he aided me in moving forward one foot at a time. Before that day my parents were told that I would probably never walk....well the professionals were wrong now I was on my way with my parents and others help to prove them all wrong and have been doing so ever since then.

I am now a married mother and am very independent in almost every way. No one will ever tell me you can't do something without me first trying and then if indeed I need help or can't do something I will then ask for help or move on. The only thing I ask is please first give me a chance to try before you assume that I am unable to do something.  

I love the challenge each day brings and with this blog I hope to show you that indeed with limitations I have proven that I too can find ways of doing things that may seem impossible if you see me on the streets.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Who I am!

Hi, my name is Melia Benjamin and I have Cerebral Palsy!

I have had Cerebral Palsy my whole life and am lucky to have the abilities given to me as well as taught to me throughout my younger developmental years.

Cerebral Palsy is an umbrella term used to describe developmental delays caused by a brain injury before, at, or soon after birth. The main reason for the injury is asphyxiation or lack of oxygen to the brain. As for me the belief is that the injury came when my mom took a hard fall while at home on a kitchen floor my dad was working on at the time and her water broke and was placed in the hospital on bed-rest at about the 5th month of pregnancy until I was born about two months later due to the fact that my heartbeat was not detected by a regular stethoscope because in the very early 1970s there was no such thing as sonograms or the like Fetal Doppler heartbeat monitors there are today. Thus on July 4th I was born after the nurses and doctors could not find a heartbeat and was under the impression I already had not survived.  They ordered a C-Section and to their amazement I was alive and again this was when mothers were knocked out and the fathers were not allowed in the operating room so my parents never saw me and were not even allowed to see me until two or three days later and were told to prepare for a funeral not a little 4 pound baby girl. I survived and about a month or so after my birth I was allowed to go home with my mom, dad, and 5-year-old big sister. When I was sent home my parents were told that they knew she has something effecting the brain but the doctors in Springfield, MO had no idea what was wrong.

Thus my parents brought me home and my mom did some research and found a pediatric neurologist at UCLA that could probably diagnose my disability. The good news is we already had family in California and my parents were looking to get back to the west coast. My dad had lost his job so they headed back to California to family and doctors that could possibly identify my disability. Once in California my mom immediately called the doctor she read about and was told there were no immediate appointments available so instead of waiting she went to the doctor's office and sat in the waiting room with me the whole day until the doctor finally came into the waiting room and identified me with having Cerebral Palsy.

Thus my journey began knowing now that I had Cerebral Palsy and there was no cure but with the help of pediatric neurologists, orthopedic surgeons, as well as therapists (speech, physical, and occupational) I would be able to have a productive life. In this blog I hope to give you a glimpse of my life now and while I was growing up. There are many books about raising a child with cerebral Palsy but very few if any about being an adult with cerebral palsy and the obstacles we must overcome now and the lessons I learned growing up.